How Choosing My People Over Busyness Changed My Life

What is your legacy?

What do you think of when you think of a legacy?

I often think of significant events… birthdays, weddings, funerals . Always at these events there are beautiful speeches and testimonies that are told about people and the way they lead their life. For a long time I didn’t ever purposefully try to shape my legacy… I just thought it was something that you leave behind and it’s how other people choose to tell your story.

I now believe differently. It’s how you choose to influence other people’s stories. It’s the way you pour into their life that shapes your legacy.

I think it’s too late if we try and shape or think about our legacy at the end of our life. It’s time to ask yourself today, “What legacy did I leave behind yesterday?” “Did I choose to love?”

“What can I do now to leave a legacy behind that tells those around me they are enough and worth my time?”

It is easy to listen to the messages of “hustle harder” and “when you reach the goal of (fill in the blank) you will finally be happy and have time for everything”.

Now, don’t get me wrong, we can do great things with our time throughout our lives. We can start non profits or businesses that give our families freedom and offer value. We can work purposeful jobs that provide for our families and serve others. Those are valuable things to do with our time.

I’m also not saying that you need to say yes to every invitation that comes your way. We need to protect our time and learn how to use it wisely. I think I would actually go crazy if I said yes to everything.

But, when we are saying no all the time because those goals, jobs or measures of success are taking over every aspect of our life…it takes us away from loving the real life humans God has so graciously put in our path. That is the point when we need to check our hearts.

Several years ago I was working a part time job in town, a part time job remotely on my off time and also running The Lovely Adventure. All the jobs were filled with the greatest intentions and I loved them all. They all sent messages out into the world that said, “You are loved” and one was even a Christian summer camp… I can’t think of a more beautiful mission than to share The Good News with our youth.

My heart was in the right place and I truly believed I was doing what God had called me to do. But I was stressed, not delegating, taking too many things on, terrible at saying “no” and literally running myself into the ground. I had taken opportunities God had given me and turned them into points of stress and exhaustion. Sounds like a classic human move, doesn’t it?

Soon after all of these things came to an end I had exhausted myself and realized just how empty my life was. I hadn’t seen my friends in months. I hadn’t seen my family. My marriage was full of arguments and painful conversations because we felt far apart even if we were in the same room. We were surviving on frozen pizza and the size of the laundry pile on our couch was embarrassing. I had to start at ground zero and figure out how to build everything that my busyness had destroyed.

God doesn’t make mistakes.

I don’t think it’s a “nice gesture” that he puts friends and family into our lives. I think it is purposeful and part of our calling to love those humans the best that we possibly can. They will be there to give the speeches and testimony of our legacy, after all. Are we telling them, “I don’t have time for you, I’m too busy.” or “Those things can wait, I’ll make the time.” ?

I’m sure you can guess which message I was giving out.

You see, all the good I was doing in all the jobs was worth nothing if the people who were put into my circle felt second best. If anyone had asked them how good of a friend, sister, wife, daughter etc. I was… if they were really honest, I think it would have been “a busy one….and not the best”.

Do we want to be busy or do we want to be a friend? Do we want to be successful or do we want to be there for those we love when they need us? What is God calling us to?

It’s all about balance and it’s a daily battle to fight for… but I want us to start thinking about shaping our legacies now before it’s too late. To choose our people over everything. To choose to love and to point people to Christ with our actions and the way we spend our time.

I sat down and thought about an action item to give you. I want you to think of at least three ways you want to be remembered.

So, when a friend is telling someone else about you they don’t say, “yeah she is really busy.” but instead, “She’s a really great friend. We have the best conversations, I can always call her if I need something”.

Here are the ways I want to be remembered:

1. Andrea loved people before her to-do list

2. Andrea wasn’t busy, she was productive with her time

3. Andrea didn’t waste the time God gave to her, it was her most valuable currency

4. Andrea gave solutions and did her best to help women fight overwhelm in their lives

Let’s be intentional, purposeful and passionate about shaping our legacy.

Let’s be women that value our time and our people over the busyness that tempts us with empty success, honor and pride.

I think you’ll find that so much you are missing and searching for will be found in the time you spend with the people God gave you.

Let’s not waste that blessing, sweet friends.

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Meet the Blogger

Hi, love! I’m a little (okay… a lot) obsessed with vintage everything, married to an Aussie and love exploring Colorado.

I worked in Christian camping for ten years creating activities that are simple but effective.

Now I’ve learned that in order to fit in those important activities about God into our week, we need to first learn to find the time and manage it wisely.

So, I’m bringing you ways to manage your time and spend your new found freedom with intention and those you love most.

I’m so glad you’re here, sweet mama.

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Getting the Joy and Energy back into your week!

What is stealing your joy?

When you look at your to-do list is there an item that makes you physically

tense up or take a big sigh?

For me that was cooking. Every day right before lunch and dinner my stomach would turn into knots and I would feel paralyzed with guilt. This resulted in me having zero motivation to start any type of meal prep. It was exhausting.

I didn’t grow up in a household that loved cooking and whether it is just a matter of not liking it or not being confident, cooking steals my joy. It doesn’t give me energy or peace or time to think… it just makes me tired and grumpy.

So, I’m sure you can see the dilemma. I’m a stay at home mom and wife and we don’t have a personal chef. My husband does help out with meals every now and then but we have mutually decided that it is my responsibility since I’m home all day (sigh I guess that seems fair…).

The Cycle of Guilt

I would struggle through this cycle of guilt because WHY DIDN’T GOD JUST GIVE ME THE COOKING GENE. Why wasn’t I good at this thing that was a huge responsibility?

Then, I would feel resentment towards meal times and guilt and resentment towards myself. These feelings were then projected onto my husband and it just all turned into a vicious cycle that drained me and my family.

I finally decided that I’d had enough.

What I Did About It

So, I looked at my weekly calendar and decided that Monday would be the day I would later deem “Not my gift day” (because I do all the things I have not been gifted in liking or having talent). On every Monday I do all the things that drain my energy and joy. It always includes cooking and often simultaneously all the loads of laundry I can fit in (plus folding and putting them away).

Why would you do that to yourself?!

I get it. It sounds kind of awful to do all the things I mostly despise all on one day. It sounds draining and like I would dread Mondays. But here’s the plot twist… I DON’T! I LOVE Mondays! I am so motivated to get it all done because for the rest of the week, I don’t have to think or do any of it. I don’t have to use my energy to think about meals or a cooking mess and dishes to clean or all the laundry staring at me.

The freedom I gain from doing all of my energy draining responsibilities on one day at the beginning of the week is INCREDIBLE. I can say yes to play dates and time with Bowen. I have time to write this right now and time to sit and talk with my husband about our dreams and goals. I am making time for the things I love for the rest of the week because my joy and energy isn’t being drained.

How do you make time for that?

I protect it like a mother (download my freebie here to learn more). I am fiercely loyal to my Monday routine. I am an adult and I do decide to make exceptions for friends or coffee or family etc. but it is rare. I block off Mondays from appointments and phone calls. I focus and work hard because I know the freedom that is coming.

What does “Not My Gift Day” look like?

• I wake up and do my MORNING ROUTINE (read all about that here)

• Then, I begin to cook 3 seasonal meals using my instant pot (plus a few electric skillets, our kitchen set up is special and that’s another story for another day).

• While cooking I simultaneously wash/dry laundry, fold and put it away.

• Repeat all day long until I’ve finished / am satisfied with the freedom I’ve gained for the week ahead.

How YOU can personalize this plan!

I have chosen to fit A LOT into my Monday. It is a very full day but ultimately it is worth it to me.

So, how can you apply this to your life?

• Look at your week or your to-do list. Find those things you have to do every week that drain you.

• Now, look at your schedule and find a block of time (highly recommend it’s at the beginning of the week but it doesn’t have to be!) that you can protect and focus to get your energy and joy drainers done and out of the way.

• You can even put one time tasks on your chosen “not my gift day” because I find that when I have that little cloud of guilt and dread hanging over me, I am far less joyful and productive.

Your tasks could be big or small, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that they are draining your energy and killing your joy. So, if you can, try this method of lumping them all together and I think you will become addicted to the freedom you find in the rest of your week like I am.

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About the Blogger

Hi, love! I’m a little (okay… a lot) obsessed with vintage everything, married to an Aussie and love exploring Colorado.

I worked in Christian camping for ten years creating activities that are simple but effective.

Now I’ve learned that in order to fit in those important activities about God into our week, we need to first learn to find the time and manage it wisely.

So, I’m bringing you ways to manage your time and spend your new found freedom with intention and those you love most.

I’m so glad you’re here, sweet mama.

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How to Kick-Start Your Morning with This 3-Step Routine

Monday Morning:

• Wake Up

• Grab Phone

• Scroll Social Media, Email, News Updates… all the things.

• Freak out because I accidentally spent 40 minutes scrolling my phone

• Jump out of bed

• Aimlessly wander to the kitchen to get breakfast started

• Feel a bit lost and behind

• Keep trudging through my day… oh wait! Jesus. I should pray, probably. Dang it. I was supposed to do that this morning. Where can I fit it in?

• Repeat every morning of the week

Do your mornings feel a little bit like this? A little hazy?

Nothing disastrous has happened but you feel a bit lost, unmotivated and distracted?

This was me. I would wake up and scroll for way longer than I meant to and then lose sight of my goals for the morning or what even my purpose was supposed to be that day. I felt a bit behind and distracted by thoughts of getting back to those comments, messages and emails I had been notified of in my sleep.

I realized I just wasn’t reaching my goals in the morning. I had plans to drink coffee and read a devotional. Plans to sing with my Bowen boy and start our day off together, without distraction.

As cliche as maybe it sounds or as much as I hate admitting to it, I was addicted to going straight to my phone in the morning.

Instead of filling my head with my own thoughts, God’s word and some necessary silence, I was filled with:

• New outfits I should save to buy

• Free activities I need to download to try with Bowen

• A few recipes I know I’ll never try

• Memes that do make me laugh but don’t enhance my life

• And top it off with a few jealous thoughts of “why can’t my house be that pretty? Why can’t I be that thin?”

The main message I was receiving in the morning was, you’re not enough. You need to be doing more.

I don’t think God meant for our first thoughts to be these. In fact there are so many verses in the Bible that reference intentional mornings …

• Psalm 143:8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.

• Psalm 90:14 Satisfy us in the morning with your loyal love! Then we will shout for joy and be happy all our days!

• Psalm 5:3 In the morning, O LORD, hear my voice. In the morning I lay my needs in front of you, and I wait.

• Mark 1:35 Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and
  went off to a solitary place, where He prayed.

What I’m not telling you…

I’m not telling you that you need to get up at dawn or spend an hour drinking coffee and reading the Bible (though that sounds GLORIOUS).

I’m here to give you a realistic three step morning routine that you can make as short or as long as you want. It can be at whatever time you wake-up and the only requirement is that it doesn’t include your phone or any other media.

So, here are the three steps:

Before you consume the world’s opinions on who you are and what you should do through your phone, television whatever media you consume, take these three action steps first:

1. Do some sort of movement

2. Spend time with God

3. Spend time using one of your gifts

I’ll break them down a little bit more:

Movement:

I do a simple routine of stretches that lasts probably 3-5 minutes. It isn’t elaborate… it’s probably on like 5th grade PE level but it helps connect me to myself. Helps me realize my body can move and also it gives me time to just be in my own thoughts while I stretch.

Your movement in the morning could be:

• An exercise routine

• Dancing

• Stretching

• Yoga

• Walking (outside or in place to music)

• Anything that gets you motivated to move!

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Spend Time with God:

I struggled for a long time believing there was some magic secret to studying God’s word. I had to follow a procedure or a set of rules. This really turned me away for a long time (and sadly, a lot of that was made up in my own head). So now, I do what helps connect me to the words, what helps me remember scripture or just simply end with feeling I spent time with my God.

Your time could be spent:

• Water coloring scripture

• Writing out scripture

• Journaling

• Going through a study book (She Reads Truth is a favorite of mine)

• Reading a quick devotional (“Pressing Pause” is my favorite right now)

• Sitting and praying (it’s simple and sometimes I need that!)

• Writing out your prayers

• Memorizing scripture

You don’t have to do the same thing every day but I do encourage you to do it without audio or video so that your mind can think its own thoughts and not be inundated with someone else’s voice.

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Use One of your Gifts:

Lately I’ve been dancing and singing some songs with Bowen. I recently sang one on a Facebook Live. They are just little good morning songs with actions that make me happy. I love to sing and I feel it is one of my gifts.

The reason I include this is because I think it helps remind me of my purpose, who I AM and who God made me to be. I’m reminded of the me before I was a wife or a mama or all those other identities we take on in our lives. Everyone has gifts and talents. It may take you a while to remind yourself of what those are because cleaning, folding laundry, cooking and more cleaning seem to take up a lot of our energy, but they’re there.

What if I don’t know my gifts?

I once heard a quote on being burnt out and how to become happier… it said, “ Do more of what you did when you were a child.”

What did I do? I sang Disney songs at the top of my lungs on the swing set, put on dance productions, played dress up, did a craft nearly every day and set up a store to sell all the contents of our basement back to my parents. It is sort of crazy how the joy of those have all somehow stayed with me into adulthood. I feel like it’s such a beautiful and tangible way to begin searching for your gifts.

Your Gifts Could Be:

• Crafting

• Writing/Journaling

• Coloring

• Singing

• Swinging at the park!

• Dancing

• Writing an encouraging note to someone

• Cooking

• Decorating

• You name it! The possibilities are endless!

This morning routine has been a game changer for me. I’ve found it so much more motivating to get up knowing exactly what I’m going to do. I feel more confident in myself and more in tune with who I am. I am not flooded with thoughts of not being enough immediately when I open my eyes.

It hasn’t been an easy change and honestly I still struggle but the rewards have far outweighed any challenges.

You are enough. Let’s take action so that we can fully believe it, sweet friend.

About the Blogger

Hi, love! I’m a little (okay… a lot) obsessed with vintage everything, married to an Aussie and love exploring Colorado.

I worked in Christian camping for ten years creating activities that are simple but effective.

Now I’ve learned that in order to fit in those important activities about God into our week, we need to first learn to find the time and manage it wisely.

So, I’m bringing you ways to manage your time and spend your new found freedom with intention and those you love most.

I’m so glad you’re here, sweet mama.

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